Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Is my target that big?

I'm realizing how long it's been since I've blogged, which means that there's no health issues in the family, and we are very busy.

Josh and I have learned a lot in our ministry so far, and know we are going to keep learning more about the in's and out's of church leadership. I find it humorous that when we are around a group of pastors, their wives come to me with a predispositioned empathy of appreciation for "the pastor's wife", knowing exactly, the stress that we undergo for our men's positions. It amazing the trials we've been handed situationally, financially, and emotionally. Yes, we've been through great trials in our lives, but it feels as if the fire hydrant has been unleashed!  (yes, truly, as if it has legs and is chasing us around the neighborhood)

Everywhere we look, there's another test we must undertake or there's another situation that needs to be taken care of. I can list off 9 situations (in my head) that we are facing right now, that are... no wait... 10. that are needing our attention, that we are trying to get through, giving our best to conclude them as God wants us to.

Stressed much? ah..... yes. One of the situations being that I must drive my husband to (both) jobs, no matter what condition I'm in, or my kids. How does Kailan deal with stress? STAY HOME!! Has Kailan been able to do that? heck NO! Why is God making me do this when He knows that I feel I need this. ( I say "I feel" cause I get into trouble when I say that IS what I need.)

I'm an introvert, MAJOR. People don't know this about me as well, cause I hide it pretty well... most of the time. Situations, experiences, etc. have taught me how to be "Spirit-led" and move in ways I didn't think I could. But honestly? To stay home, and recharge in my own time, would be wonderful about now, and it IS coming soon. I hope. :)

Josh and I sometimes, look at eachother, and with longing, exhausted eyes, we say, "How are we doing this?" Is this what it's going to be like the whole time we are in ministry like this? If we knew this, would we have gotten into it anyway? By the grace of God, yes, and (taking a long breath) yes.

We feel honored to be suffocated by the world, because we are going against it. No one said honor was easy to uphold. In fact, we were warned about this.... target. We didn't fully understand when it was being said, well... because we have already had a target on our backs.... but I think ours is highlighted or something.

Anywho, all this to say. Please pray for our family, Josh, me, Isaiah, Eve, and Tesh. That we stay strong with only the strength that He can give. That we keep our focus on Him, and not what's coming at us in the world. That we be courageous in these storms that seemingly never subside before the next come.

I shout out a big Thank you to all our support at Crosspoint, the Pastor and family, the youth leaders, the worship band, and the parents of our teen students. Without all of you, we wouldn't be able to stand as strong as we have.    

There is absolutely nothing to report on Tesh, except the fact that she has a temper to match her uncle, and she's beautiful !!! She's healthy. Isaiah and Eve are doing well, and loving school. Isaiah is going to be just like his daddy! I'm excited about that. Eve.... well.... unfortunately... she's going to be a lot like me... I'd better start working on her now. lol.

May you come to understand there is a target on your back as well, and satan would love nothing more than to devour you. May you be wise enough to see through that deception, and keep your relationship with your King, close.