Trials Produce Compost?

The grass is always greener on the other side...

No really. The grass, is seriously, greener on the other side of the fence. Because of the height of our mansion... er 2 bedroom house.. whatever, I can see over our neighbors privacy fence. It was a sunny moment (in this incredibly rainy season) and you could see their beautiful green grass glow as the dogs skipped about in it, frolicking in the sum beams. Their empty patio swings were beckoning me.

Then reality would hit and I'd lean over my window sill, looking into my own yard. The trees smother almost any sunlight wanting to reach it. Full of mud, weeds, and sticks, my yard looks depressed. I told my husband that our yard reflected our hardships and the condition we are in now as those hardships leave us in their wake, ....depressing.

I do have a small garden plot that's in the corner of where the most sun can possibly hit within our yard. I say plot in the most literal sense. I have not successfully grown any food in it, as of yet. (this year will be the 4th attempt) This is not my area of expertise, but I do understand that it's healthiest (and cheapest) to grow your own garden. So... I keep trying, watching the glowing green coming through the cracks of the privacy fence year after year, while our trees only get bigger.

I was watching this very inspirational video on gardening called "Back to Eden" http://backtoedenfilm.com/
His concepts for gardening seemed almost too simple. Could it really be that the ground just needed a covering to protect the dirt, in which to grow such good plants? Paul Gautschi, the man with the method, kept bringing scripture into his explanations as to why it was working the way he was doing it. He shared his wisdom in the fact that his observation of nature taught him about how God designed the earth to flourish. He explained that dirt needs a covering, because left exposed, it gets too dry, or it gets too wet, and all this other stuff he's better at explaining. He was explaining the importance of a compost covering. I'll let you watch the video, it's a movie length documentary, but it's very insightful. So.. as I'm being encouraged, once again, to continue trying my hand at gardening, I'm thinking about how to get my hands on some mulch like substance. (sticks, leaves, bark, rocks, manure,   any compost really... )  

Once again, I'm looking out my window, into my back yard. The sun wasn't even out and the neighbor's yard was still glowing. Then I saw it. My. Whole. Yard. Is. Full. Of. Compost!!! Sticks everywhere, the stupid brush pile we've been meaning to get rid of, the decomposing leaves all over our patio, the dead straw-like stuff that I still don't know where exactly it comes from lines our unswept driveway! I totally saw this as God's provision, His wink, saying, "k-baby, here's what you need, now give Me your best and I'll take care of the rest."

I really didn't mean to rhyme just then, but it hit me so deep, because all these years I've been doing, what this Paul calls "traditional gardening", and it just wasn't working. (I can't say I ever gave it my best, but..... not my point) Now, all of the sudden, the glowing yard looked so empty to me. They had no compost, no garden, just grass... beautiful grass, but just grass. I wanted something more than just grass, I want to be able to grow food, flowers, whatever my shady yard will let me. And now, I feel like it's plausible because I have a plan that makes sense to me.

I don't write all this out because I want you all to know that I'm going for a successful garden this year... there's a deeper lesson here.

Near the beginning of this post I told you that I told my husband that our yard reflected our trials and what it's made of us. Just like all those trees in our yard, creating sticks and leaves and havoc, is like all those trials, building up over the years, that have left our family worn. But truly, it's those sticks and leaves and havoc that have provided what is needed to protect the ground. It's the trials that are truly God's way of providing for us to help grow and protect ourselves and that special something that He has in store for us. He has a will for us and even though things look so torn, what's really happening is His work in us. You dig in our yard and the soil is this rich dark beautiful color that smells so fresh, like a green house smell, because of that crazy looking compost everywhere.

Using the "Back to Eden" method, I started my garden over.... again... swept my patio and the driveway of the compost I needed. As I spread that compost over the beautiful dark dirt, I remembered God's promises to me.

He loves me. He will provide for me. and He has not forsaken me.

I'm not gonna promise my garden will truly succeed this year, but I'll give it my best, because He has not forsaken me.

10 Years, 6 Babies, 3 Major Trials, 2 Committed People, and a Partridge in a Pair Tree

May 10th, 2013 was our 10 year Anniversary! We both look at eachother and think.... "Has it really been 10 years already?" but then take another look and think... "Haven't we been married for 50?"

I have so much to blog about all that I've been learning in life, so I'm gonna give it in chunks... First off, I must share my 10 tips for 10 years of marriage. I woke up with a huge headache on our anniversary day and was puking for most of it, especially into the night... I know... romantic, right? So to keep my mind off my stomach, I threw myself at the computer trying to stay awake enough to delegate children. (thank God for 8 yr olds that know how to take care of things around the house and little children) So... I had the little fun I could muster to put 10 silly tips on facebook for all my friends to be entertained on our day of days. I thought I may share them here. :) You'll notice some of my tips are very silly but they do have serious undertones, so I'll make a note under each one.

Disclaimer: Just because I say these tips, does NOT mean that we have it "nailed". Just like our relationship with Jesus, we daily have to work through our relationship with eachother.

10 years on May 10th! Wow.... So glad I'm making it extra romantic by puking my guts up at this time.... of course it was love that brought it on! hahaha... enough of grossing everyone out on facebook in 2 different ways... I'm on a roll! Happy Anniversary my Yesh. Love love love love love love love. As a gift to all, I'm going to try and come up with 10 tips for marriage... Tip #1: Make sure you have a pastor that's not afraid to embarrass you.

Make sure you have a pastor/mentor/friend that isn't afraid to hold you accountable. Every marriage needs accountability from a trusted and respected source. Your spouse is your first accountability partner, but having that mentor that's not afraid to be honest with you when you need help is so important.

Tip #2: Always share your food... it's the christian thing to do. Even if this is hard for you at first, actions proceed beliefs, so... just do it.

Hoho's are sacred. kidding.... this goes beyond food though.... even though it is nice to share food, but sharing your life with this special someone is a big deal. You are not your own and many forget that. Many think they are entitled to be independent of eachother, which to some extent I know we all have our jobs that we go to day to day... or our "jobs" come to us every morning until the kiddos go to bed, but truly... what's mine is his, and what's his is mine. "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" We are one flesh. Own it. Protect it. Enjoy it.

Tip #3: Share in ministry together. It's one of the most awesome things to do to stand beside your best friend, doing God's work. *youth leaders for life*

Match your passions and work together whenever possible. You may not have the same strong suits, neither do we. He's an extrovert and I'm an introvert, but we found a way to be involved together, ultimately doing what God calls all of us to do. Love Him. Love others. Doing this together, we have endless stories, lessons, trials and triumphs that keep us connecting with eachother all the time.

Tip #4: Get excited about things. No matter how small or big it is, do the dance and jumping up and down, and be glad the other feels as dumb as you do, but the beauty of it is you both know that you are awesome because of your weirdness.

Embrace your unique marriage. You are unique. They are unique. Together, you are crazy unique. Embrace your own style of doing things. Encourage one another, get excited for one another, and don't forget to cry along side them..... or in my case... you cry, and he holds you until you are done because your hormones are crazy and you both know that and it doesn't need to be said. :) 

Tip #5: At least once a year, wear the same thing. This may sound kinda weird, but it's what we do, so it must be working right?

 There really isn't a serious note here. I think I just really wanted to post this picture of us celebrating on a holiday we don't even really get too involved in... I purposely miss "the ball dropping" almost every time. Of course, I will say, we equally don't care and equally take advantage of being with friends.

Tip #6: No matter how many cute babies you make during this marital process, make sure you have a dedicated teenager around (aka our awesome niece) to be able to handle the rugrats, so you can take eachother out of parent roles, and into BFF/lover roles :D

 Priority relationship people!!! You and your spouse were a family before children came. You guys are one, the children are a welcomed extension. We learned this from Growing Kids. You must protect your priority relationship by setting some time for just eachother. I've been told so many divorces happen after 20+ years of marriage all because the kids are out of the house and they don't know eachother anymore. Not a good excuse. Protect that priority relationship now because it's is you both in the beginning and it'll be you both in the end. Yesh is not just the father of my children, he is first (and always will be) my best friend/lover.

 And my niece rocks, doesn't she?

Tip #7: Help eachother out. Give eachother a hand. No matter how aweseome, silly or gross it may seem, that's the sacrifice of marriage. A wise pastor once said that "it's not 50/50 in a relationship. It's 100/0. Give everything, and expect nothing."

 My pastor Todd once said this in his sermon on marriage. It was the first and only time I've heard it anywhere. Expectations are tempting and are never ending if you give yourself the 50/50 advice. Standards are put that are never reached and disappointment always follows it like a duckling follows it's mother. I'm not always good at the 100/0, but it's made for a proper perspective when God's trying to get ahold of my heart about something. It is, after all, what He gave us.

Tip #8: Find something that you love to do together on your spare time. Master the skills and get really good and thoroughly enjoy eachother and what you're doing together at the same time. It's these things that bring heaven to earth. :)

 Aside of active ministry with others, find that "thing". It could be anything that you love to do together. That thing that you both love working on and getting better at. It brings such harmony to the relationship. Ours, most of the time, is music. We both love to sing and play and through the years have picked up new skills and we've written songs and worked on songs to get them JUST the way we like them. It's so fun and energizing to both of us, at the same time it's a stress reducer, and what makes it the best is that we are doing it together. Find it. This is definitely one of many ways I feel God's love when He gives us things like this to do with each other and ultimately, that alone is glorifying to Him.

Tip #9: Remember your roots. Remember why you married this incredibly weird person and chose to be weird along with them. Although the tree may grow and the leaves wither and fall, and grow new leaves... the roots are always there, always getting deeper and richer than you've ever dreamed of.

 I love most of Jewel's songs, (and I don't know all her songs) but there is this one, in particular, that I disagree with. She talks about how "this day" is so great and they are so in love that she hopes that they stay "this way". We were totally head over heals for eachother when we were dating, and our wedding was great, honey moon was even better. We've had our good times and bad times because "that's life" but we look at our relationship now and know, without a doubt, that we are richer than we were when we began. Our "tree" is beautiful and big and it's only going to get bigger as time passes. I guess the lyrics... "I hope our love is better later." wouldn't sound as romantic. hahaha

Tip #10: Be this close. Literally and figuratively. Cuddle every night you are able. Physical touch is powerful. And enjoy the closeness that can only be shared with the one human being in the whole wide world, the other half of you that can dance with even though you can't dance, hold your sweaty hand tightly, help you clean up after puking your guts up, hold you close when you cry, laugh at you until you are laughing at yourself, all because... that other half loves you. No matter what. Be this close.

I'll leave this one. It needs no more explanation. 

May you find the blessings of your marriage, learn from it's trials, and see the big beautiful tree that has grown from both. 

*Happy Anniversary my Yesh. I'm excited to celebrate it, in about a month when I'm done puking. :)