Elora, The Therapy Puppy

 If you follow me on facebook, you know that my puppy broke her hip. If you don't, now you know my puppy broke her hip. I have not officially introduced my puppy to my actual blog, so I will do so now.

We had decided 6 months ago that I needed a therapy dog. Being chronically ill and having chronic pain can be very isolating. I also deal with depression, anxiety and PTSD that I takes meds and am in therapy for. Having a therapy dog brings joy to those that are hurting, no matter the hurt. So it's been on our radar to keep our eyes open for a dog once we settled in our new house this last spring.

My sister's dog had puppies. Thee cutest puppies you've ever seen. She spotted one especially that she wanted our family to have. She was near and dear to my sister, but also very sweet. At first, I was hesitant because everyone knows puppies are work! But I do have 5 kids at home to help out when I can't do it, so I tested them with the job of helping me potty train my 2 and 4 year old and well.... by the time the puppy was 8 weeks and ready for a home, she came home to us and now I don't have to buy nearly as many diapers! woohoo!

Elora Dannon (Wing)

We named our puppy Elora Dannon (Wing). (for all the cool folks, that names from Willow. It's so fun to call out, "Elora.... Elora Dannon!" and have this sweet little puppy come running to you) She had so much energy, we thought she'd favor the kids. Not so! She's so attached to me. She goes where ever I go, unless there's paper products on the floor to get to, of course. I'm in pain in some kind of way every day, so to have her next to me, or on me cuddling close, or curled around my head at night, I've been brought so much joy by her presence. Her and I have bonded quicker than I thought was possible and she has been a great therapy puppy.

Well. Yesterday afternoon, my 2 year Ruth (-less Honey Badger), was carrying her around and fell. Ruth is fine, but Elora was not. I knew something was terribly wrong with the way she wouldn't stop crying and then limping off a particular leg. We took her into the Pet ER and xrays showed that her hip has a clean break! My heart sunk and I started bawling even more. (I had of course, been crying on and off this whole time) He said that if we didn't have the surgery, she would have life-long severe chronic pain, with the possibility of losing her leg eventually. He said, with surgery, she wouldn't be 100% but she would be almost that, learn to walk on her leg again and live a long happy life. I remember hearing the words, "She won't ever be 100% but she will be close" and thinking... 'What two peas in a pod her and I are now. Both unable to achieve 100% but can get as close as we can.'

This is her right hind hip that has a clean break. 

How much for the surgery? $2000! I heard the words surgery and knew it was gonna be bad. We are a one income family, so you can imagine the impossibility for us to have that kind of money, let alone spend it on a pet. But Elora was so special and she is such a perfect little therapy dog for me, my husband right away declared, "We are not giving up on her!" I was so happy to hear those words, but how were we gonna do it? The sweet receptionists at the pet hospital encouraged us to start a "Go Fund Me" page for her surgery. With all the more serious things I've gone through in life, I felt so silly doing a "go fund me" page for a puppy. My heart was so torn and I couldn't stop crying, even in front of the doctor and receptionist. The receptionist said, "You gotta swallow your pride and try." So we went home with pain meds to keep her comfortable, to give us a couple days to come up with the money and started a "Go Fund Me" page. In less than 24 hours, we are just a couple hundred dollars away from meeting that goal to afford her surgery. All these people came together for Elora and for me and my family, to be able to give her a good life, and allow me to keep my therapy dog.

I can't even begin to explain how humbled and grateful I am that so many care enough to help and that with many people doing just a little bit (some of you a lot!), it makes the greatest impact. I am overwhelmed.

Although I am so glad to be able to get this surgery done for her, I am still broken about how much pain she has and that this happened at all. My heart hurts for her. We are able to keep her comfortable in the mean time, but it just rips at my heart. It has taken a big toll on me emotionally, which effects my CFS/fibro. Her spirit, though, has lifted me still even with her own broken hip. She still wags her tail when she sees someone she wants attention from. She still gives kisses to everyone, even the Ruth-less Honey Badger who got her into this mess. She still rolls over on her belly to have it rubbed. Her spirit has been motivating and inspiring to me, to say the least. It's amazing what these therapy dogs do for people in need of them. They are so noble and loyal. If you suffer with any form of sickness or pain, especially mental illnesses too, consider a therapy dog. They are so healing in so many ways.

Now I commence cute pictures of her below! Enjoy! And Thank you again, for those that have contributed to our fund for her surgery. Tears in my eyes, thank you so much!

(if you wish to help us with the last bit of our goal go to our page here and donate!)

Yoga with Elora. 

My 6 year old has a favored calm spirit. 

Every night and morning. At my head. 

Ruth-less Honey Badger with Elora. They do love each other. 

I wake up every morning with her next to my head. Every. Morning. Love it.

Bad morning. Loving puppy cuddles. 

She lets us cradle her often. Such a baby. :) 

follows me everywhere. 

Me, passed out on the couch with a mother migraine. Her passed out next to me. 

More migraines, the cuddles never stop. Seriously love her. 

Don't Mess with Tesh! : Some news whilst celebrating 4 years post op for her!

It's appropriate to share some news we have today about Tesh. Today marks 4 years since Tesh had her cranial surgery. I can't believe it's been that long, but I can still remember all the fear and relief of it like it was yesterday. I remember how she fell asleep in my arms just before they took her away from me. All the fight for her with her health issues was coming near it's end with this last crucial step. The moment they called to tell me "her surgery went well and they are closing her up", I got off the phone and started uncontrollably crying, gasping for breath to make it stop, but I couldn't. When my family and friends saw this, they thought something was wrong, but really.... it was well. It was SO well.

Oh, Tesh. She's changed our home forever, that's for sure. Out of all 6 children, she's the one that gave me my only c-section. She's the one that has had us in and out of doctors offices (with siblings in tow) and why I sound as smart as I do about certain medical things when I talk to people about these experiences. She has also made our house louder.... And when I say louder, I mean it. Ever since she was a toddler, her screams have always rung in my ears. Screams for justice! Her particular preferences have been overwhelming to me as we try to communicate back and forth as to why she's upset. Her fears and anxieties will be through the roof at times. Her need for control remains, no matter what I do. If there's too much attention on her, whether it be bad or even good, she'll shut down and sometimes cry. There was even a scene where she FINALLY went potty (this was a few months ago) and we were all there to congratulate her. Her parents, grandparents, some aunts and uncles. We all were saying, "Great job, Tesh! What a big girl!" She then proceeded to cry and said, "Your happy makes me sad."  After having had 2 older kids in the house, I knew the way she would react to certain things was a little.... off.  Extreme.

So... all this to say, we had her evaluated yesterday. We waited 5 months for this appointment with the wonderful Dr. Noble here in Des Moines. (and he IS wonderful!) He said she has Sensory Processing Disorder. He said, "Nothing is broken. No wires are crossed. It's a combination of temperament, personality, preferences, anxieties... on steroids!"

I found all this good news because now we can pin-point it, research it, learn what it is, and know better how to help her cope. All this time, I thought I might be crazy for thinking anything was "wrong" with her, (because I know it could be a lot worse) but there IS something and we CAN better help her. There is so much here, so many faucets of information and uniqueness about her, too much to cover on a little blog post. But all I know is that for these last couple years, I've kept my concerns about her to the closer circle of people around us, and it's been something that has been eating away at me and it's finally done. Well..... the pin-pointing part. And now it's not eating away at me because we have some answers.

The real (hard) work now continues with occupational therapy in hopes to help her cope with her processing skills. And with a lot of patience from me and the close people around her. I look forward to reading "The Out-of-Sync Child" by Carol Kranowitz (suggestion by Dr. Noble according to her diagnosis, apparently my child will seem to be on those very pages)

It takes a community to raise a child..... It still takes a community to raise a child that is unique and weird and apparently on steroids. And let's be honest here... most of her unique weirdness comes from the queen herself. (ding :D) And to be further honest, we are both working on our coping mechanisms now.

I love her so much and I have full confidence that she will do well. In fact, the picture below is my proof that she's going to be an awesome fictional writer some day. Yep. She's in an almost constant state of imagination, which makes her seem like a weird random kid, but it fascinates me to watch her. I can only hope I can be a good mom and help unlock this world of hers, from her head... to paper... but for now, she's 4. Baby steps. 

I had no idea where she was or what she was saying... all I know is I wished I could see what she saw. 

3 Years Post-Op Checkup

Last Friday, we went to the University of Iowa Hospital for Tesh's 3 year post op appointment. Nerves struck me as the time grew closer to find out if her head was still good or if she'd have to have another head surgery.

For those that don't know, Tesh was diagnosed with Sagittal Synostosis at 2 months old, a fusion of the cranial sutures. This abnormally early fusion happens typically in utero, so she was born this way, it just took us 2 months to figure it out. Other parents/doctors have waited years to figure it out, so we are blessed to have the doctors that we have.

So on the way to the hospital, I'm preparing my 4 year old for this appt. knowing that she practically hates most, if not all, strangers and we were about to encounter many strangers. As we would arrive to places, she kept the mantra up, "I don't want to go to the doctor!"

After the eventful xray was taken, where 3 people had to hold her down in order to get "I guess that will work" shots of her head, each stranger seemed a little less abrasive. Of course, it involved me taking my temperature in front of her and so forth.

The appointment went well. The xrays looked good and by the time we saw Dr. M (her neurosurgeon), she was ready to be a little more cooperative. Phew!

Clean bill of health! I was relieved! Dr. M explained how her skull was healing, that it was "fingering" back together, but that was ok.

Tesh was skipping as we left the doctors office, finally getting the permission to "go back home!"

Thank you God for Your mercy!

Me trying to calm her fears. 

All done! We get to go back home!

Tesh thought is was funny that the picture had no hair.
You can see the top where it's darkened, meaning there's still that "gel" and not hard fused bone. 

The mass above her head would be the tech's hand, holding her head...
but right underneath his hand you can see certain white spots. That's where the "fingering" healing is happening.

Daddy, Mommy, and Tesh 3 years ago... Pre surgery

All of us now! 3 years Post Op!
Wow... I haven't changed a bit! My husband sure has though... :) 

Full Sized Preemie??

Ahhh.... why do I ever think that I'll ever have a normal baby again? Isaiah was my only "normal" infant. He nursed, he slept, he grew, and was perfect. He was only 3 days early, and his birth weight was 6lbs. 12oz.

Sarah was normal and gained weight better than Isaiah, but then we lost her to SIDS. and that was one of the most confusing parts about it. Her birth weight was 6 lbs. 6 oz.

Eve was born a whole month early, and came out nursing well, but had premature apnea. That was terrifying. Her birth weight was 6lb. 12 oz.  (full sized preemie)

Tesh.... lol..... She was the worst of them all. Failure to thrive, MSPI, dysphagia, craniosynostosis (yes I can still spell that correctly) Her birth weight was 6 lbs. 6 oz. (full sized preemie)

Naomi, Birth weight 6 lbs. 4oz. And now weighs 5lbs. 5oz. and we haven't been able to get her to go back up yet. I'm already hearing the words, "She's nursing like a preemie" from my midwife. Good thing I kept all my "gear" from Tesh's issues cause it's all coming back out. 

I'm looking at this situation as a whole, and thinking.... "my body only allows my babies to be a certain size.... whether they are ready or not." It makes me want to fire my body. That's right. Be done having babies. It breaks my heart, but to keep doing this? having these babies that need preemie attention? and it's getting very difficult having babies like this, with all the kids I've stocked up. lol

It's weird because it was like Sarah was more this event, this pivotal time where life was way less complicated (within our small family unit), and then after she died, it was like, "full speed ahead" and it hasn't stopped.

I'm not complaining too much about Naomi's issues, I know they are small. She is still alive and these issues will resolve with lots of hard work (tired sigh) but there's this instant "defeated" feeling, as a mom, as a baby making vessel.

I find myself asking God, "Why am I doing this again?" "What is the lesson in all this?" "Have I not persevered enough?" "Have I not served You well enough?" "What shall I learn to make this situation go away?" "How long this time?" "Is it in Your plan for us to have rest?"

Then I come around... and think about all the people we've been able to reach, or help, because of all the chaos we've been through. Most of you know this, but my husband is a Youth Pastor, some day aspiring to plant a church.

hmmmmm..... that might be why. Being in the ministry has it's challenges all by itself. But it's our survival through these things, that's made our ministry strong and relational.

Why am I doing this again? cause He trusts me.
What is the lesson in all this? patience, endurance, hope, etc....
Have I not persevered enough? my guess is, "no"
Have I not served You well enough? that's why He trusts me... my guess
What shall I learn to make this situation go away? lol.... yep
How long this time? As long as it takes for me to make His child healthy and ready for His ministry.
Is it in Your plan for us to have rest? He does.... I'm just complaining.

Why am I doing this again? cause He trusts me.

Much Ado About Nothing.... 30 weeks and Christmas!

Although that movie is not one of my favorites, the saying rings true in almost anything of this world. I love my midwife. I love the atmosphere she creates in her care... this calm, let it happen, don't worry about things that aren't there, listen to your body and your instinct, your the mother and in control of your own baby, I've got your back, kind of care. It's wonderful. It leaves my pregnancy between us (Josh and I) and our Protector. As I'm into my last trimester, the inevitable braxton hicks starts kicking in at full force. I kind of like them cause it gives me LOTS of practice for staying calm and relaxed for actual labor, but it's not so fun when I'm unsure if I should be taking action against, "preterm labor" contractions that seem to collect almost every night. With the kind of care that this particular midwife is giving me, I'm able to calm down about them in my head, and know that "this is what I do... I have lots of contractions, all the time, and I will know when it's real labor or not. and until then.... DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! Let them come and do their thing... they are as stubborn as you are"  ;) 

At my last appt. we discussed "the glucose test". I grumbled about it, and said, kidding, "Do I have to?" and she replied, "No" with this nonchalant look on her face. I asked, "Really??" We discussed it a little further, talking about my history of no gestational diabetes with all 4 pregnancies. That glucose test always makes me jittery and gives me headaches. Why do that to my body/and baby when there's no symptoms of the diagnosis for which I'm being tested for?   Which led me to saying, "Ok! No glucose test then!"

As I pass the mark for when I started "preterm-like contractions" being pregnant with #4, not having the "hype" (a.k.a. medical intervention and hours of sitting in triage, being sent home with medications) about whatever contractions I'm having now, I feel a bit of success as I wait for the next mark which would be 33 weeks. (preterm labor contractions with #3) I'm optimistic about it, which is new for me, but I think I'm getting a little better about this optimistic approach... (not good, just better, ha..) I'm bound and determined to NOT need to be on any "labor stopping meds" with this one. No bed rest would be nice too....

My ultrasound went very well. Baby is 2.5 lbs. :) Oh, .. and my placenta moved!! ... not sure how, but it did! Praise God! It's now 6 1/2 cm away from my cervix, for those of you who really wanted to know that. :) They couldn't tell if "cranio" was apparent, but I knew, by experience, that you can't really diagnose something like that with ultrasound, but I did go back and compare ultra sound photos from Tesh and this one, and I see a beautiful difference. Look at these ultra sound picks (all you "head pickers") See how Tesh's forehead is out a little and the back of her head is slanted funny? Then look at Baby #5's head... normal looking to me!

Baby Tesh- cranio-

Baby #5- normal looking head-

Baby is breech.... not worrying about that right now. This baby has been so active that I swear it's trying to come through my actual belly, always kicking and rolling around. My hubs had his hand resting on my belly last night, during a movie, and eventually he said, "Calm down kid!" ..lol... so I'm not worried and I'm TRUSTING God and this baby, that it's gonna go where it's supposed to go when it's time... however... it'd be nice for it to settle head down cause I've learned by my own experience that breech baby contractions hurt... they are very uncomfortable. It's like I can tell that something's off, so it didn't surprise me to hear that baby is breech.

I don't like 3D ultrasounds very much, baby's face is distorted because of the umbilical cord being in it's face, which baby was caught sucking on... yum...  but if you notice, baby's big toe is touching it's forehead. 

_________________________________________________________

On a Christmas note: it was pointed out to me that the song Silent Night was originally in German.
 
"It was Dec. 24th ,1818 in a small Austrian village called Oberndorf, just hours before Christmas mass and pastor Joseph Mohr was in a bind. His musical plans for the evening church service were ruined since the organ of his church (St. Nicholas Kirche) had broken down recently due to a recent flooding of the nearby river. What could he do? In a moment of inspiration, he grabbed a Christmas poem he had written two years earlier and quickly set off to the neighbouring village, where his friend Franz Gruber, the church organist, lived.

It is believed that Franz Gruber was able to produce on that night in just a few short hours, the first version of the world renowned Christmas hymn “Stille Nacht”." (http://german.about.com/od/christmas/a/StilleNacht.htm)
The literal translation: 
"Silent night, holy night. All is sleeping, alone watches only the close, most holy couple.
Blessed boy in curly hair, sleep in heavenly peace!

Silent night, holy night. Shepherds just informed by the angels' hallelujah,
It rings out far and wide: Christ the Savior is here!

Silent night, holy night. Son of God, oh how laughs love out of Your divine mouth,
Because now the hour of salvation strikes for us. Christ, in Thy birth!"

I absolutely love reading lyrics to old hymns such as these, cause there is usually theological depth to it. Most songs, today, don't have a lot of depth to them, not that they are bad, but just not as artistic as they could be, especially one with talents that are God-given to write such poetry. This song, in particular, is so sweet and simple, describing this.... silent night of holiness. My, personal, break down version: 

While everyone sleeps, there is something so extreme happening. Something so life-altering.

While everyone sleeps, the attention of the heavens is upon this couple, bringing forth this Child, but not just any child, the Son of God. 

While everyone sleeps, the angels are illuminating the sky, and singing with heavenly voices that Christ the Savior is indeed here. I would've loved to see that.

While everyone sleeps, our Savior "laughs Love", sounds His voice, through human mouth, for the first time, beginning His journey of the greatest sacrifice. At this point, does He know and understand His destiny? 

While everyone sleeps, the hour of salvation is upon us, the pivotal moment where we now have a choice to make. Will we follow and believe that this is real? Will we believe that this Son of God, born this night, will save us? 

While everyone sleeps, will you awake to His whisper, His mouth close to your ear, as a lover is close, saying your name? 

Even while everyone sleeps?

I love the lyrics to Relient K's song "I Celebrate the Day" - 

" .. and I celebrate the day, that You were born to die, so I could one day pray for You to save my life."  

Tesh's 18 mos. post op check up :)

.... AND I'm officially in my third trimester, that puts me at 28 weeks today! Woohoo.. so far so good. I have an ultra sound around the corner that'll hopefully ensure no cranio for this one! And we got to check on that placenta, which I'm optimistic about. :) Anywho,

Tesh: She turned 2 in October and her post op appt. (being 18 mos. post op) was yesterday.
      As we were driving out of town, it was so foggy, actually, it was foggy the whole day, but sitting in a car, the fog was ever present. I was taken back for a moment to the time when we drove away from the Cavanaugh house after Dad died when I was 16. It was foggy, much like this. As we coasted along the interstate, we saw these circular set of lights in the sky... We all gazed at them in question as to what they were. As we drew closer, we realized they were new street lights. :) We all had to laugh about it, even though it had been only hours after I gazed upon my Dad's lifeless body. That moment is etched in my memory, so as we drive past all those circular set of lights in the fog, I can't help myself but to be drawn back to the fresh air of the "new normal".
      I was very optimistic about this appt...... for once! I knew that Tesh was healthy, and that her head had been doing so well, so far, that why would it go wrong now? right? I tried to hold tight to this logic, going against my nature of pessimism.
We arrived to the hospital, ...late, of course.... and went straight to the Xray appt. first. I was saddened at the reality that I couldn't go with Tesh inside the xray room, for obvious pregnant reasons, so I had to keep her in her father's arms. Which I think she kind of preferred, since she's been attached to him lately... .. trader... :) I could hear her screaming, as I knew they were strapping her down, and... if you know Tesh.... you know that's a big "no no". She really doesn't like being here.

not happy :( Her lip is out and everything.

We got to the NS's office. Dr. M felt her head, and sat in silence.... for what seemed like forever, but it was probably about 20 seconds, in reality. Of course, this is plenty of time for me to think of a million questions, "what is he thinking?" " what is he gonna say to me?" "is he trying to find words to let me down gently?" "is it that bad?" "is it not that bad and he's not wanting to freak me out?" "He's freaking me out!" "SAY SOMETHING!!"
   Then he starts talking, with a smirk on his face. He explains that she'll always have these "soft spots", we don't need to be worried about her playing with having those soft spots, and he'll see us back in 2 years. What?! All that silence for that?.... well, I guess I'll take it. The weight melted off quickly as I realized what he was saying. I had to hear it still though, I asked, "So the xrays look good then?" He replies with a smile" Yes, they look very good. She is doing very well, especially for being only 18 mos. post op." Phew!!! What a relief, not only is she doing well, but better than well. I'll take that too!!

See the grey in the middle of the top of her skull? That's the "gel" bone still, not fused bone :)

Here's her lumpy profile. Forever lumpy... :)

 Then he starts small talk, which I thought was weird. Of all of a sudden, he's asking Isaiah where he's taking daddy to lunch. What neurosurgeon has time to have small talk like this? He must be having a good day himself... later it made us wonder if he sat in silence like that just to get a bit of a rise out of us, since it was such good news... you gotta think, that's probably the most entertainment he gets out of his job, since it's normally so serious. :)

University of Iowa Hospital Skywalk

     We left, Josh and I looking at eachother in relief, giving high fives....(yes, we do that still) and enjoying the rest of the day, knowing that at this moment everyone in our family is safe. ..... safe. What a wonderful feeling. One of those "heaven" moments. .....safe. No worries, enjoying life to it's fullest.... safe.

    





Of course, we stopped at Huhot.... Did you know there's a Huhot in Iowa City? We do!! It's on my top favorite restaurants list.

Isaiah took this picture. Me and Eve.

Eve, actually, took this one. She did very well!

Sisters lovin on eachother!

All of them lovin on eachother. This captures them perfectly.

Me and Eve being serious. Isaiah and Tesh being goofy.

Ok, fine! Let's all by goofy!!

Then, we stopped in the Amana's, which we love to do. Our normal places at the "The Chocolate Haus" and the wineries, trying different wines, and/or buying cheese and crackers.
       All in all, it was a great long day with great family time. The kids were really good during the whole thing. Yes, we cart all our kids around when we go to appt.s. It's actually really good for them. They like coming along and Isaiah learns so much and asks all these questions, stealing the hearts of every nurse he comes across. :)

If you've been following my blog at all, I'm sure you've read the stress around us. The family I talked about last post is still breathing through their "new normal".

Also, a very close friend of mine, recently had a miscarriage, that broke my heart. This was the very woman that fell to my feet when we lost Sarah, and now, I was holding her. It was her moment of brokenness and at first, she didn't want me around because of my belly (which I couldn't blame her although it broke my heart not to be able to be there for her) , but later, she allowed me to be there with her, she knew I loved her and that I knew her pain. She, too, is breathing....

This Saturday, December 17th, is Sarah's 5th "Angel Day". Missing her will never subside. 

I count my blessings. Oh, Lord, I count the blessings. Embracing Your plan can be so hard sometimes, but I am thankful for moments of Your peace and calm....
.....so for the Wings this Christmas, I am reminded that we are safe....

So Much to Say...

First of all, these anniversaries that we have just passed have put me in a whirlwind. I quickly chalk it up to being in my first trimester (which I'm just reaching out of) while dealing with all these emotions, but for some reason, it's hit me a little more about Dad's death anniversary.

Although September is my favorite month, hands down. It comes with all these bittersweets.

Sept. 2nd, my Dad has been gone for 11 years!! I can't believe it's been that long. I missed him more lately. It could be my hormones talking, but this pregnancy has brought fear and excitement to me with the VBAC decision. AND Tesh has been doing so well, and Sarah is still missed, and my babies are growing up and one can't help but see their family grow and know that Dad isn't here to experience it with us. I know... he can probably see us now.. but it's just not the same. He isn't here to hug me and hold me in his arms and bring reason to me. :) He isn't here to show my kids all there is to know about "THE GARAGE" especially during "A STORM"  I want my kids to know their Grandpa Joe and they only know him through my stories. It just makes me sad... I miss him.

Then there's my beautiful angel named Sarah. She would've been 5 on Sept. 7th.
5! I can't believe she'd be that old already. The baby that all I can see as a baby would've been 5... I would've started Kindergarten with her, and I would've brushed through her long blonde curls, looked in her bright blue eyes, telling her, as well as Evey, that they are such beautiful princesses.
Isaiah had been having these "sad moments" this year about Sarah. Asking more questions and fearing certain things. It seems the older he gets, the more aware he is about losing his little sister. It doesn't effect Eve as much, of course, but Isaiah.... I think a part of him remembers. 





And then there is Eve. My little "princess" that reminds me everyday that she is my princess. She will be 4 on Sept. 22nd. She is growing into this beautiful little lady.

And Tesh is doing so well. Her head is looking great, and she is smart! AND funny! She's a riot, always trying to make us laugh. And I've been so proud of her social bug coming out, after she lost it with the surgery, she's opening up to a few more people.... other than Mom and Dad. :)

This pregnancy has been going great! No more scares so far and I've been so encouraged by many women that I can accomplish this VBAC. I'm not saying it's 100%, cause there's always that chance, but I feel empowered, knowing that God has designed my body to take care of my baby and deliver this baby. I'm not nearly as scared as I was when I blogged last, thanks to the all the "ICAN" support. I'm doing things to encourage a healthy natural pregnancy and delivery, and am excited about it now. Of course, it helps that I'm not nearly as sick as I was before either. The sickness is lifting! and I can really enjoy my growing belly, which that's one of my favorite parts about being pregnant. :)

So there's my bittersweet month as I know it. Enjoy the pics of my kiddos and Sarah's 5th Birthday Celebration this year.

Watching the balloons go up!








Eating cupcakes :)






Grandma Lyn and Isaiah having a sad moment together.

Couldn't help but take a picture of these three sitting together on the bench.






Our goofy Tesh!







No one would ever know anything was ever wrong with her when she was a baby. She's been doing soooo well.

And Homeschooling continues on.....

Eve is doing some pre-school work,

while Isaiah works on his 1st grade writing.

Daddy's teaching science. He was explaining how, "We are like baking soda, and God's love is like the vinegar. When we have Jesus in our hearts and we show God's love, like our experiment, God's love grows for all the world to see."

They thought it was pretty cool :)