I Hit a Curve Ball

The last 24 hours has thrown me some pretty good sized curve balls. Yesterday morning I thought to myself, ' you know, I really don't know if this neurosurgeon is going to do the same surgery as the last one planned, and I don't know if "a team" will be present also.' So I got the urge to call.... I talked to the secretary of this doctor and I asked my questions. She informed me that a team will not be needed for the type of surgery that he will perform. I asked what surgery he was planning on doing. She said the "strip" one, where he will make a cut where the suture needs to be, and widen it. He'll make a couple cuts on either side and widen the sides a little, and then she'll do "helmet therapy" for 3-6 months. I was very confused at this, cause all I knew was, that was not the surgery I had prepared myself for. There are pros and cons. The CVR surgery is more invasive, more blood loss, but the chance for resurgery is slim. This "strip" surgery is less invasive, a little less blood loss, but the chance for resurgery is a little greater, which frightens me. I asked her about the team part of things, and she said that this surgery he does alone, the other he does only for other sutures that are closed, and that the team gets involved for that. I was freaking out cause I was not prepared to hear all this. I thought we were on the same page, but what I was realizing was, I was still on the page of the previous doctors that were no longer her doctors. I cried to my mother, and she said very wise and comforting words to me.
"Kailan! Now is the time to understand what it means to trust in the Lord. You need to trust Him and trust that He is the one that brought you to this doctor. You need to trust this doctor, that he knows what he's doing and what's good for Tesh." Although I'm forever grateful to this doctor for standing up for Tesh, but I found myself still skeptical of his ability to treat her? Mom said the words I needed to hear. I'm not in control of this part. I do trust the Lord, I do trust that He sent us here, I do trust this doctor, and if he thinks this is best for her, then that is what will happen. So now I need to put that trust into action, and show my Savior and King that I am His bondservant. That was the last time I cried about the type of surgery and the doctor's decision.

Onto a different page, I turned my attention to her weight issues again, as I received a call from my Pediatrician. She informed me that she and the new GI doc. were talking and that he handed Tesh's case back over to her cause there was nothing more that needed to be done. I started explaining my concern for her having "milk soy protein intolerance" (MSPI) and she quickly said back, " yes, that's what she has." as if I already knew this. I was frustrated and told her that the old GI doc. never breathed a word to me about it. She said that she suspected it in the past, but then we ended up in the hospital and met with the (old) GI doc, and he investigated on it. .....slowly........ I was floored. I couldn't believe that it was a fact now, unbeknownst to me, that she has MSPI. So then I asked her to hear me out. My plea was for a formula that would, without a doubt, be something that he will tolerate, and grow from. I wanted her to be on Elecare. She, with no challenge, wrote the script for it right away. I thanked her enormously for that, and felt so relieved that this battle was finally over. It was like getting up off the ground and looking around realizing that you've just won and that time will finally begin to heal the wounds. I took a good deep breath and thanked the Lord for He IS good. I truly have so many things to be thankful for. So many blessings that I am able to touch every day. I've got a wonderful husband, beautiful children, and a house to clean.









I couldn't ask for more.


This does not take my fear away, for I am still nervous about the surgery itself. But what I do still have is hope, and hope does not disappoint. The sunrise was beautiful today. As I rest and recuperate, I am restored by my Father once again.