5 Month Ultra Sound. Start of Many?

I'm just giving everyone an update about 'what's going on with Kailan." :)

baby #5's profile while sucking on the base of it's hand.

I'm 5 months along, and watching my belly move! This pregnancy has been going very well, very uneventful, which is a good thing. I'm still tired all the time, but not really sick anymore. The hubby and I are still very excited  about doing this home birth and continue planning, having faith that all will be fine.
I had my ultra sound at 21 weeks to check on baby's development, and I'll be honest, there have been some new anxieties, but I'm trying to keep them at bay, cause I'm understanding they are not that big of a deal. One of the things we had to check on, during the ultra sound, was the placement of the placenta. If the placenta was planted over my scar from the previous c-section, then I would not be able to birth at home, possibly not be able to birth normally because of the high risks involved. We found the placenta is placed along my backside, so that was a blessing. It is also 2 cm away from my cervix. The tech said that the placenta needs to be 2 1/2-3 cm away from the cervix, in order to safely labor and deliver, but she assured me of the good chance that it "should" stretch up as my uterus stretches. ok.......  (kailan, please hear her say," it should stretch up" and hold onto that) Yes, I have to self-talk sometimes.
The good news so far about the head of this baby, is I saw with my own eyes OPEN SUTURES! Never in my life have I looked for openings in my babies heads in utero, but seeing those open sutures made me say it out loud, "Look! It's not a cranio baby!" The Tech agreed, but of course, had to interrupt my excitement with,  "But... we'll have to do another ultra sound later in your pregnancy to do a recheck on that head cause sometimes it's hard to tell this early and it'll be more definite."  (which I've been told, very rarely can you tell on ultra sounds if there is, indeed, fusion.) ...... (?)....... anywho, moving on.







This has been a rough couple of weeks for me, as I journey through this pregnancy, trying to hold my head up, dealing with all the chaos of life, but also being confronted with another's grief. Some dear friends of mine, lost their baby Gabe at 21 weeks gestation, I believe 4 years ago. As I sat with this mother, one recent morning, we were talking about Gabe and all the tragic events that took place surrounding his death. My heart hurt, knowing what it's like to lose a baby, but also because the baby inside of me at that moment was Gabe's age. The love I feel for this baby already overwhelms me, and to know that it was at this time that she lost her baby boy, broke my heart in many ways. I'm sad for them as they face certain milestones still, but also, empathy is dripping from me. What a blessing Gabe is, truly. These friends are in ministry with us, and the faith that they carry through the life and loss of their son Gabe is so honoring to God. I believe this about Sarah, as I believe it about Gabe, ... they did not need to live this long life in order to honor God, "they were made for worship". Define worship? True worship is completely giving ourselves over to our Creator. Gabe now dances with his King, no pain, no tears, pure joy.

Of course, it leaves us with pain, but this kind of pain never leaves us, always reminding us that life, here on earth, is but a vapor. We are His children, seeking His will, living His will as best we can, as bondservants, no matter how crippled our legs are, nothing will take us from our Father's hand.