The big question,"Why People Get Divorced After Losing A Child?"

I have neglected this part of my story, because I was so focused on my story about Sarah that I didn't realize that I was leaving out one of the most important aspects of grieving. Which is ironic, because that's the start of answering a question like this. Neglecting the priority relationship. Let me let you in on Josh and I's relationship to help you better understand what we go through.

Josh and I made people sick:) in a good way. We were highschool sweethearts that married eachother. We were in ministry bands together, that enabled us to share our time together ministering to the youth. We've been involved in youth groups together. The only thing we did not do together was work. Other than that, we were attached at the hip. We "waited" for eachother, which was a big blessing in our relationship, that few today get to experience. Yes, we had our normal marital fights and issues, but we were unbeatable with eachother. We were quick to forgive. We learned so much from eachother. I could say that it probably took us that four years to be able to fight well. You know, arguing appropriately, as to NOT sever the head of the other, just for the fun of it, just because you can. I helped my flighty husband to get a little more organized and he helped his anal stubborn wife to calm down and enjoy the things in front of me. I loved to be submissive, and he respected my opinion. I'm not saying that we nailed it, but we were in a good direction. We would go to marital seminars, even though there were no real issues with us, we were always quick to go to keep learning about how to make our marriage stronger. We were also taking classes called, "Growing Kids God's Way" by the Ezzo's. Learning about the priority relationship of our marriage made us even stronger. Through that, we had couples to look up to, who encouraged us to strengthen our marriage even more. We kept that lovey dovey highschool feel to our relationship cause we loved feeling that way. Even with Isaiah coming and born, we felt like these youngens havin babes. Which made life all the more exciting. Nothing was nonchalant with us.
We were very equipped to take on what life has to throw at us, we just weren't expecting the worst thing. When Sarah died, we felt whip lashed. One of the main couples that we looked up to, were the very ones to pray over us at the hospital, that we do not separate over this. I remember Josh told me in my ear, "we are NOT separating over this." I nodded my head, and planted it right in his chest.
Instantly, when we got to mom's house to stay for the week, there were issues. I wanted to be away from the crowd, while he wanted to be in the crowd. That was how we grieved. They say opposites attract. It's true. Our temperaments are opposite and with that comes different ways of grieving. I was becoming a different person very subtly and so was he. We grew distant when it came to our "inner world" but we kept pushing ourselves to talk through it. Which we did, cause everyone knows, "Communication is the Key." It was only a couple months out that I realized that I felt alone, somewhat like a widow, life I lost both my child and my husband and that it was just me and Isaiah. I'm a very observant person, so when I felt like that, I instantly went to my husband, who was very much alive. We talked it through and realized that we feel like this cause we barely know eachother anymore.
We were so busy grieving our daughter, that we became unaware of a bigger issue. My arms became empty when Sarah died, but what added to my grief was the absence of my second half. My heart was broken in so many different ways. My head was so clouded with grief that it took the Spirit to point it out to me.

(the Big answer)
I realized that not only am I grieving Sarah, I was grieving the way things used to be. I was grieving the old me, the old Josh, the old life, the old marriage. My head was swimming with loss. I wanted my life back, but it doesn't work that way. So Josh and I had to make a decision. To let it get so bad that we separate, OR be proactive, before it gets bad, and push back toward God and eachother. Love and sacrifice and commitment.

Marriage is work. Marriage can be like labor, but it's all for a sweeter outcome. We pulled out our "equipment" and started in.
It's been over two years, and we are still working things out. But our "toil is not in vain." We will overcome this, because He has already. This was our tribulation, and I'm sure there is more to come, but He has overcome the world. Sarah is safe. Our marriage is stronger than ever. We are learning eachother again, and it is beautiful. There are beautiful things about us that never came to surface until lately. We still see some old things peeking back because God is good.
Because I remained faithful, I still adore my husband. I am proud to be his wife. We still go to whatever marriage seminars there are, and we keep learning cause we know we will need it. This whole situation has aged us. We both have said, we feel like 60 year olds in 25 year old's bodies. But we feel honored. Through Christ, we have prevailed that hardest thing that a couple could go through. We know for sure, that NOTHING will stop us now. God saw fit to have us go through this, but He knew we could get through it. He entrusted us with this. He gave us this blessing cause He knew we'd live to tell about it. I've never felt closer to God or to my husband. Life will always hurt, but my soul still dances.