Birthday Party at a Cemetery

Regardless of my bed rest state, I was bound and determined to get out and celebrate Sarah's first birthday. It was very bitter sweet. To celebrate something in Sarah's name was a sweet honor, but to go to her grave for it, was a bitter reminder. We had a headstone, with her name and her footprints on it. We set up a picture, just for the occasion, so we could see her face. It gives you that sick feeling everytime you come upon the grave of your daughter. Also, knowing full well, that "she" is not really "there". She is in paradise. It was a beautiful day. Sun shining, everything so colorful, you can even see that in the background of this photo. Beautiful.
We had Isaiah color a piece of paper for Sarah's birthday. Daddy and he went into the store, Isaiah watched as the balloon person, got his picture small enough to fit in the balloon. He picked the color blue for her and a pink one for him. He was very excited to give his little sister a present. To be able to "send it to heaven." We went to the cemetery in Altoona. We had gotten a little cake with a "1" candle on it. We lit the candle, sang "Happy Birthday", let Isaiah blow it out. and then we had him send off his balloon. As we watched this balloon slowly float up "to heaven" I even found myself in a child-like state, waiting for Sarah to receive it. We all watched until we couldn't see it anymore. When Isaiah said that he couldn't see it anymore, we said, "Well, that's because Sarah has it now."









I cried the whole time, of course. My aches of the present pregnancy melted away, as I relished in my memory of Sarah. We felt like a whole family again for that moment. We took lots of family pictures. Josh and I watched Isaiah play in one of his new "playgrounds". He would check out all the other headstones, seeing others that were from little kids. We got to tell him, once more about Grandpa Joe, (whose headstone was right next to Sarah's) and how they were together. I sense Isaiah gets jealous sometimes, hearing about them being up there, and him not.

But I just tell him that God decides when he will go to heaven, and that the point is, is that we will be together again.