Teshura? Sagittal Synostosis?

Teshura, Teshura, what will we do with you? Let me go back a little with this to give you a better picture of the grey hairs I may be getting very soon. (not that I don't already have some)

This pregnancy was very hard on me. I spent the first 4 months puking my guts up, and then had a little break of enjoying my pregnancy. At 30 weeks (7 1/2 months) I was contracting regularly and didn't realize it. I knew the contractions were there, but didn't realize they were 4-5 min. apart. :) I think my midwives lost faith in my judgment after that, especially since this had been my 4th pregnancy and I should've known better. ? They found an infection that they were able to treat and also put me on bedrest for 2 weeks. (especially since I now had a history of pre-term labor with my previous daughter) After 2 weeks, my contractions went back to normal braxton-hicks and I felt fine, BUT my fetalfibronectin test came back positive (meaning there is a hormone present that makes me at risk for going into labor within 2 weeks) so it was back to bedrest. 2 weeks after that I failed another test for that.... more bedrest. I finally got off bedrest at 36 weeks only to find out that this baby is breech. They said I had some time for the baby to turn, but it did concern them. I tried chiropractic care. I was coming upon my ninth month, and they wanted me to "lay low" as to not go into labor, giving this baby a chance to flip. I started dilating a little but nothing out of the ordinary. I was 37 weeks when my contractions started to feel real. I waited at home doing some "labor" excersizes and my contractions got closer and harsher. We went to the hospital and I walked up and down those hallways wanting this to be over. Head was down (maybe due to the chiro.) finally and things seemed good. I took a hot bath, and things started to calm down. I was so disappointed. My labor came at a stand still due to the fact that this baby that was head down, was now transverse. (sideways) They sent me home later, I was crying, feeling very uneasy about everything, not trusting this baby at all. I went in the clinic with more contractions a few days later, all to be sent home again, because baby was not fully head down.
Third times a charm, I went into labor, progressed beautifully, and with many anticipation the head was down, but still not totally engaged. My water was broken when I was dilated to 6 (you need to get to 10) and there was so much water, they said, "No wonder your contractions were everywhere!" They lost her head. The baby had gone up somewhere where they couldn't even tell what was what. My heart dropped as I labored in pain, not knowing what was about to happen. I knew that I may have to have my first c-section, and was terrified. The decision was made, though, that c-section was the safest option at this point.

My baby girl Teshura Lyn was born October 18th, 2009. My first sight of her, I was nervous. My husband was with her, and my midwife took his place beside me, holding my hand. I looked at my baby girl for the first time, blinking as to see better through my tears, and noticed this enlarged forehead. I said to my midwife, "Kim! Her head!" She comforted me saying that it was a normal "breech" head, and that it would go to normal as she grows. 'ok', I guess I could deal with that.
She is so precious though, she seemed to nurse ok, but just ok. There were major sleepy issues, greater than what I dealt with, with my sleepy Isaiah. It took 3 weeks for her to nurse properly, and still she's a little lazy, but she gets the job done.
Her head was still not getting back to normal, but of course, she wasn't growing very much either. So she has slow weight gain issues, along side of her weird shaped head. Her forehead still kind of sticks out a little, and there is this ridge that runs up it. The back of her head has a narrow bump shape to it, making her head this elongated shape. My pediatrician sent us to a cranial specialist. The specialist gave us the name ' sagittal synostosis' He wanted us to get familiar with it, cause he "highly suspects" that this indeed is her diagnosis. This diagnosis means that when babies are born, they normally have all these sections of skull that are not fused together yet, letting the brain grow properly and then at 2 years old, they close. These normal "cracks" in the skull are called sutures. The diagnosis is stating that these certain, "sagittal sutures" are prematurely fused, causing her head to grow this abnormal shape, which can lead to intracranial pressure. Scary!! Good news is it's fixable! Praise God!! Bad news, surgery will be needed. Yes, to reconstruct her head. very very scary. I asked him if this was why she never settled head down. He said that it was a great possibility but that I would never have a definite answer.

Our CT scan is tomorrow which will confirm this diagnosis. I'm very stressed about all this at this moment. My worst fear is losing another daughter. I think Sarah has completely amplified my fear with all this. I have shed many tears with all this already, and I know that once again God is using us. Sometimes I wish that He didn't trust us so much, but then the moment that that comes out of my mouth, I realize that I desire to be trusted by Him. Let's just hope I can make Him proud. I don't know how we are going to get through, but I'll never forget the why. I am a child of the Most High God. He is my peace. He is my strength. He is the King that I serve, and that's why I will do this with the certainty that I will come out of it alive.

I'm using this blog to update everyone about this and to someday be a support to all who endeavor this same journey. Feel free to ask any questions. Thank you to all the "cranio" moms out there on the craniokids.org website with so much support.