I wonder if he has felt these passed 10 years, as I have. Probably not, though. I'm sure it hasn't even been an hour. He's probably still taking his first breathe of true life. It's a hard subject, that one.
I do, however, love thinking on the fact that him and Sarah are together. No matter what my beliefs are about heaven and when we actually get there after we close our eyes to this world, I can't help but imagining him lifting Sarah up and holding her high and twirling her about as she giggles the whole way. That sentence just made me start bursting into tears. What a jealous mother I am. Is it jealousy? or envy? Jealousy is to not have something that belongs to you. Envy is to want something that is not yours. No matter, cause for this, it still hurts, just the same. oh, it just stings when it comes on so suddenly.
Well, to bring some good news in our lives... September 1, 2010 marks, for us, the day that Josh first became a Youth Pastor!! He is now employed with CrossPoint United Methodist Church in Bondurant. We are so excited about finally being able to lead in this way. We are trying to be careful to do the right things, that God would have us do, which makes it a nerve-racking expedition. But we're young and up for the challenge, as if we haven't had harder challenges already. Josh and I's marriage is a strong one, and we need prayer for sealed protection of that and our family. I know satan is going to be trying to get even bigger guns out, but I know that because of what Jesus Christ did for us, satan has no power over us. For with just one Name, he flees.
I'm so proud of Josh, I'm proud to be his wife. I know I'm bias but he's a special character and I love him.
I know Dad would have loved Josh, and would've gladly given me away to him, I know he would have been exceedingly proud of him today.
I feel ya on that sudden coming on of emotions marking the hard anniversaries. I swear mine hit me at the strangest times-I never know when I will have a "I wish dad were here" moment. To couple that with the loss of a child, I cannot imagine. I admire you and Josh's resiliance, especially when it seems that satan keeps throwing new boulders in your path. We fight the same thing.
ReplyDeleteKudos to Josh for the youth pastor position-I loved doing it. It is one of the most fulfilling, and yet most trying things God has had me done thus far. I think it is surpassed only by being a parent :)
I can't read your blogs at work...I always end up crying!
ReplyDeleteKailan, You have such a strong and remarkable faith. God has truly blessed you with the gift of words and comfort. It is said in the Bible that some of our hardest trials are to be considered our gifts from God. I took this to mean that once we have overcome that hardship and have relied on God we are now better equipped to help others who find themselves in similar situations.
It's never comforting to hear that during a time of crisis, but once overcome, it feels good to have come so far and to be able to help others. At least that is how I feel about it!
C.j
Oh my special daughter, K-baby as your dad would say... I love reading your words and I too cried much at the thoughts of today. I love you. I love your father. I always will.
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I am proud of your faith and endurance and testimony of our Lord, Kailan. 'And we overcame by the word of our testimony', that's how God ordained it since He knew by our trials we get stubborn in faith and crush the wiles of the devil. Knowing our babies are in good hands with our loved ones gives us hope to live the life of Christ so we may see them again. Joe was a true friend other than a b-inlaw. His endurance til the end helped me thru my trial which started at the same time. Remember the rom8:28 lesson of all this, God will and IS using it for His glory. Keep your marriage focused in the Lord and each other and you will go far for the Lord. Luv ya, from your favorite uncle.
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