The Six Knots

Soon we were following an ambulance down the interstate, that was holding the man I already missed. I think we all got to the point that we quit begging God for his life, but for his peace.... to go home, .... to stop this suffering. We were all so worn from this experience. Mom hadn't slept barely at all. She would be up, day and night cleaning after him, waiting on him like the most devoted wife I've ever seen. It was beautiful, but heartbreaking. It was September 1st.

When we arrived at the Kavanagh House, Dad was wheeled in on his bed, saying, "Can we do that again?" We all settle him in his simple room. I noticed there were tons of tissue boxes everywhere in the whole building. The nurses showed us the kitchen, the living room with of course, the puzzles:), and then brought us back to Dad's room, where he laid, looking the same as what he looked like in the hospital. My sisters left to be with their husbands and kids for a little bit. The head doctor wanted to talk to us all in a different room, away from Dad, so we all gave him hugs and walked out the door into the living room. A nurse sat with him as we were away.

We all sat in the living room with this very nice doctor lady and she explained to us what was about to happen. She said that they would stop his IV because that would just keep his body trying to work. She talked about pain medication, that they would be able to give him as much as he needed in order to feel no pain. She warned us of "the last burst of energy" that happens before they die, she gave us some examples. We wondered what Dad would do for that. She said that there is this burst of energy that makes them do things that they wouldn't be able to do in their condition, and shortly after that, they pass.
By the end of our meeting, it was about 6pm, a nurse came in and calmly said, "you guys need to come and see this."
Mom rushed down the hall, in a frantic, we followed including the doctor. We all shuffled in the room in silence, looking down on the oddest site of my father. We gazed at him and the nurse started to explain what happened. She said that they had started the pain med. for him, and he was resting, but he, all of the sudden, became agitated, it seemed. He sat up, tying the single sheet that was on him into knots.

She asked him, " Joe? What are you doing?"
He replied, "How many are there?"
She counted. "Six",
he said, "ok, I'm done. I'm making their life lines." He laid down pulling the sheet over him, exposing his legs and arms, but covering the main part of his body. The nurse, because he was sweating and seemed to be hot, pulled the sheet off of his chest and belly, to give him some air, but he grabbed at it again and pulled it back up to where it was. She left it...and he instantly fell asleep into a coma and that's when she came to get us.

This site was holy. You could tell because we stood in awe, with frozen tears. He was in a different place, and the crinkles on his forehead were gone. With the sheet laying on him, like it was, he looked like Jesus. He did, indeed, have six knots in his bed sheet. Two at his right shoulder, one at his left. One at his right hip, two at his left. We knew that each one was for each of us, his wife and five kids. It took Mom a few more minutes to find this, but she found that the knots were put in the exact shape of her mothers ring, she loves so much. He was famous for doing things like that in the past. So she knew, that is what he meant to do, when he kept pulling that sheet on him, in that manner. I soon went out of the room, crying my eyes out. I knew this was that burst of energy. I knew that it was not going to be long at all. I headed straight for the House phone and called my sisters, telling them that they needed to come back. I told them what Dad did, and that he going to go soon. They both made it back within the hour, so they saw for themselves.

I wrote a song that night, called, "Six Knots of Love" for Free Delivery to someday perform. It was telling this story of this night. My Uncle John Madison brought his guitar, so we put the words to music, and Noah was there to learn the chords. Before we knew it, it was late, and time for bed.

Dad was still in his coma, breathing slowly, but loudly. You could hear it down the hall. Mom was there not leaving his side. All five kids camped out in the living room. For some reason, I couldn't be in there tonight. The eeriness of Dad's coma, frightened me to the point of not wanting to sleep in there. I realized I really didn't want to be there, when he died. My mom convinced Seth to sleep in there with her. He kept saying he wanted to be out there with all of us, but she held onto him. The light was on, she sighed that tired sigh, and said, "Seth? Can you turn the light off, I forgot?" He huffed as he looked at that light, but it slowly dimmed on it's own. Mom said, "That was weird.... maybe it burnt out or something." That made Seth very nervous. Then the nurse came in and flipped on the light to check on Dad. Seth bolted out, "Sorry mom, I'm sleeping out there." She understood and let him go. The nurse said he looked comfortable, checking to see if Mom agreed, she checked his vitals and left the room.

We all got as comfortable as we could and went to sleep.
and for the first time... Mom fell asleep.... . sound asleep.....