In My Place

As I was talking with Amber, a woman at church, I was gazing into her tired eyes, and imagining what it would be like to be in her place. She has a baby boy that is a little older than Tesh who is very sick. As she and her husband desperately try to find answers, one can only pray that he continues to grow and become healthy one day. My heart broke as we talked about the similarities and the differences between our trials at hand. We are both relying on the faithful prayers that are sent up from the church body and that God's mercy finds us.

I know that I may sound crazy saying this, cause I've lost a baby to SIDS, and now I'm facing another baby needing head surgery, BUT it still gets to me when someone's quality of life is under pressure. This mother had to watch her baby being hooked up to so many tubes and wires, for weeks and weeks. There were times where they 'could not' hold him, for if they moved him, it could make something go wrong. This little baby is six months old, they've been doing this for 6 months! I just couldn't imagine having to do that. Here I am whining about my situation, thinking it's so detrimental that I nurse, and hunt down all these details with her feeding, when she IS gaining weight, and she IS getting healthier, and she WILL more than likely survive this surgery with flying colors, and I have this mother in front of me that is praying that she can just stay out of the hospital, bring her baby home for good, not have to have this oxygen tube with him at all times cause he can't do well without, and for him not to vomit everything that he eats.

It really put me in my place. It made me thank God that I don't have to do what she's doing right now. I was holding Tesh in my arms while we were talking and she couldn't even bring him there. My situation could be so much worse. I honestly can say that I do not know their struggle. I can relate, and understand the heart wrenching pain of losing a baby, and will understand what it's like going through head surgery with your baby, but I do not know their initial pain and struggle that they are faced with everyday until he is well.

I'm not trying to belittle my struggle, like it's nothing. But what I'm trying to say is that it really could be worse. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own world of grief that it's a blessing to run into great people like Amber. It puts me in my place. It helps me to stand where I am and thrive cause of who I am. It helps me to rise up, and do my job well, all for the glory of God.

"Lift your head high, child of the Most High God."


*if you'd like to follow Amber's story, their blog is www.theflinnfiles.blogspot.com