Staycation Turns into Staycrashstation... How Spontaneous Are You Feeling Today?

So my little family did a staycation.... meaning = we had no money, we have tons of children, hubby has some vacations days and viola! You have the ever so creative "staycation!" We decided to hit several parks here in Des Moines and picnic at each one. (and the added perk.... we sleep in our own beds... ahhh.... )

At first it was really really fun. The kids were having a blast going to all these places they've never been before (that are only like... 5-15 minutes away from home... I know... sad).  They LOVED the idea of picnicing at the parks. Most of the mornings... er... days... we wouldn't get out of the house till noon, but still, my children insisted on a picnic! Insisted!! So there I was, packing everything up so we could picnic. We even made it to the Capitol. They were in stars. I loved watching their faces light up at the awe of the place. Then later, a couple days in, came the interruptions and the tantrums... everything started caving in on our staycation; people finding us, work emergencies, and eventually my carefree staycation was put to a halt.

A good friend of mine messaged me while I was throwing an adult sized tantrum in the privacy of my own home and simply said, "How spontaneous are you feeling today?" Bless her heart, she had no idea I was throwing my fit, and she knows KNOWS I'm not your spontaneous person. Surprises are usually NOT a good thing. Romance can't even have at it. I'd be nervous the whole time thinking I need to be doing something or that I forgot something. Girls gotta mentally prepare, you know? Anywho.

I was taken back by her simple message. I looked at the hubs who was in a quiet state as I tried to collect myself and told him what the message said. "How spontaneous are you feeling today?" We both laughed about it. It was like... crazy laughter. I mean, how ironic is it that things like this happen when someone pops into your day and accidentally slaps you with a 'grace' stick or a 'get over yourself' stick, or in my case at that point, a 'calm the frick down' stick.

"How spontaneous are you feeling today?"

If fact, her spontaneous message was the spontaneity that I needed. I did inquire further as to what she meant and of course I had to slap her back with a big fat N.O. and she understood, but that phrase was still lingering in my heart. Resentment crept in with anyone that interrupted our little family staycation, even towards my own husband who couldn't help it, even towards our kids that made us feel even guiltier for plans not being carried out. I turned into one hot mess.

So while all that was simmering, we still had time to do one last little picnic. So as I stood at the counter in my kitchen, cutting away at meats and cheeses, my son comes to me and says, "Is there someone to blame?" oh geezz... here we go. (mind you, my husband is still quiet because he knows I'm still simmering)

I replied to my son, "That isn't the point. Life just sucks."
"Life sucks?"
"Yep, life just sucks."
My husband just walked passed us as I said that and gave me a quiet lecture on how I'm responding.
Ok, fine I'll try a little harder... "So things happen in life that suck all the time. Plans get changed, people change their minds, people die, disasters happen. There's nothing we can do about it, they just happen. All we can do is try to spin it for the better. We have to find ways that we can spread love even in the suckiness and then... maybe it won't suck so bad." Ugh.. yes. I know. I'm talking to myself too.

At that moment, my son started helping me without my needing to ask for it. He stopped complaining about the plans that got totally derailed and his countenance lifted. You could tell he was trying. Now it was my turn to mirror that.

"How spontaneous are you feeling today?"

So we tried to make the most of our day, and by that afternoon, I was kissing my husband good-bye. And trying not to kiss our staycation good-bye, we ate junkfood, watched "Honey I Shrunk The Kids" (their first time) and I beat them righteously at the game Othello. Over and over. :) We pulled the couch-bed out and passed out.

And repeat the next day.

And ya know? Even though it didn't turn out the way I wanted it too, there's some really great memories that will be brought up for years to come. Enjoy the pictures below, of just a few of the places we were!

This was an egg shaped structure in Clare and Miles Mill Rose Gardens. It was pretty neat. 

Isaiah working on a painting project. He picked his favorite roses to paint. 

Eve and Tesh are working on their paintings, while baby Ruth finds leaves most interesting. 

How could we NOT do this!!! :D During this moment our 4 yr old was behind us (you can't see her)
throwing a fit. Eve was trying to trying to calm the 2 yr old in the stroller, and the baby is eating more leaves. Our 9 year old took the picture :) 

Ah! All of them. How lovely! I actually got a better picture, I just thought this one was share worthy.
Who wants to look at all the nice ones, right? 

A playground with no plastic playground equipment at Sargent Park. Nature's playground! They loved this one!
Me? lots of hiding places. I told Josh that if we were teens, this would be a good make out spot. Ha! 

The Capitol Building! Isaiah's words, "This is the best day of my life!" 

Ahh... their eyes just sparkled with all sorts of wonder. :) 

Of course we hit up Granny's Sweet Freeze Shoppe to cap it off! 

One big surviving family! 

 How spontaneous are you feeling today?

Home+Learning+Cupcakes= Intelligence... It Makes Sense To Me

Hello. My name is Kailan. I make cute babies, sing and play ukulele, am slowly becoming a book hoarder, sometimes laugh at inappropriate times, (of course, in my head, it's totally appropriate) will confidently eat cookie dough that has raw egg in it, and I homeschool my children.

I love having my kids at home. I love being able to be the one to teach them. It's not all cupcakes and cool science projects... of course... God knows I'd love to have cupcakes everyday but more importantly I, as an adult, still fail science. yikes. ~my failure at science really hurts my nerd rank too :(

 Josh teaches it... moving on!

Disclaimer: Someone once asked me, in amazement looking at my situation with having all these babies AND homeschooling, "How do you get all of it done?" I honestly said, "I don't. I try my best, but I know not all of "it" gets done." But I've learned that our best is all that's truly asked of us by our King, no matter what society thinks of it.

I went to a conference a few months ago for homeschooling families. (www.homeschoolingiowa.org) I love it because it's Christian based and puts the focus right where it needs to be. Not only teaching academics but teaching character, raising them up to show God's love.

So, at this conference, there are workshops for us parents that basically instruct us how to better our skills to teach our children. They are so encouraging and practical, making me feel this big weight of society off of me and back into the true reality that I am built to teach my own children. There are so many misconceptions of what homeschooling looks like and the biggest misconception I've heard from various parents is, "I wouldn't be able to teach them."  Obviously, there are circumstances that make a parent unable to homeschool their children. I do respect parents for their own decisions, so don't hear this as judgement. It's when people own the false discouragement that stops them from doing something they'd be really good at.

Something interesting that I learned at the conference, in particularly, is the 8 intelligences. Now some of you may know about these, but I didn't, sitting their listening to the speaker, I was amazed at the concept of this truth. There are 8.

1. Intrapersonal- self-aware, self-smart. These people can stand against the crowd and make great entrepreneurs.      *energy fact- they energize by being alone*

2. Interpersonal- people smart. These people make great counselors and pastors.   *energy fact- they energize by being around people*

3. Naturalist- outdoors smart. nature and animal smart. These people are very observant of their surroundings outside.  *energy fact- they energize by being ... hm.. outdoors? ;) *

4. Musical- um... this one is pretty self explanatory. These people love music, are good at making music, they know music.   *energy fact- they energize by music. period. *

5. Spatial- this one was a little trickier for me because the spectrum is so broad. Space. Color. Images. Finding lost things. Design. The "packers" (meaning they are the ones that can pack anything into a suitcase and make it fit). So.. these people are artists, architects, designers, and also good with legos..... anywho. *energy fact- they energize by getting their minds busy with such activities.*

6. Kinesthetic- motor skills. hands on. These people are your athletes, dancers, laborers, cake decorators, and yes, even your brain surgeons. Another broad spectrum, I suppose. *energy fact- they also are energized by partaking in such activities*

And the last 2, but not least, but also equally, not "better" (as society has put the weight of the importance of these 2 intelligences, on our heads as superior) are:

7. Linguistic- words. reading, writing. These are our poets.  *energy fact- they energize by reading and/or writing*

8. Mathematics- logic. numbers. These people have all those boring, er I mean, exciting professions like accounting... and what .. not...  *energy fact- these people literally energize by playing number games.. it's sad, but true.*


So... I'm looking at all 8 of these and the speaker is encouraging us of the truth that we have smart kids. All of us do! Each and every one of them has a few or more of these intelligences that we can already see in even these young ages.

Factoid: We actually own all 8 within our brains, but some are strengths and some are weaknesses, that always leave room for improvement in either spectrum. If you are good- you can get better.
If you are bad- you can get better.

As my mind was open to the fact that even though my kids do have certain struggles, I was seeing the truth in the fact that these other intelligences even existed. Society has put this huge weight on if you are literary or wicked with numbers, that you are a genius. But what about the person that makes beautiful music, or the aspiring botanist, or the person that is perfect with his sport, or the person that paints, or the dog whisperer, or the really annoying business man, and let's not forget the blessed cooks? What of those? They are geniuses too!

As this was supposed to be a workshop to encourage my outlook on our children, I was realizing it was making me look at myself different too. It was making me realize that I am intelligent, just in my own unique way. (ugh... can't tell you how many times I've had to spell check the very word intelligent in this post.. anywho.. moving on)

All my growing up, I've been told, not directly, (and certainly NOT by my parents) by the school system and society that I am not smart. I believed it all these years. It was like a veil was lifted over my face. Kailan, sweet child of God, you are smart and He made you smart because He wants you to make music and to sing, and paint, and stand against the crowd. It wasn't until these last few years of my life that I started writing and really reading a lot and understanding what these books are saying.

All this to say that homeschooling isn't just for my kids. I teach them what they need to know as best as I can, and in so doing, I learn so much more about myself.

What are your intelligences? :)

It's fun, isn't it?  ok.. maybe your fun isn't my fun, but hey... who doesn't like to find out how ridiculously smart they are? ;)

No Bride is Worthless

Ah, yes, another birthday. I have cupcakes ready to make this morning in memory of a blonde hair, blue eyed little girl that should be running through my house, proclaiming that she is 6 years old today! The siblings are making birthday cards, in anticipation of folding them ever so tightly to stick into a helium balloon, all to let them go in the sky, heavenward, in hopes that Sarah will know that not only is she loved by her Creator, but that she is loved by us, here, still on earth.... with earthly sorrows, seeking out true human joy that one day, we will be with her in heaven.

A promise made by a King.

Not just any king. The King of kings, our Creator, Savior, our Bridegroom.

So many things have been running through my mind lately. I don't even know how to organize it all in one blog post... but as always, I'll do my best.

I've been thinking....
I wish I could go back to being myself.
What is myself?
How to reach my retreat.
Why am I having such a hard time feeling a self worth?
Why am I letting a situation define who I've been these past several months?
Truths about what true church is.
Resenting a lot of practice of modern churches.
Homeschooling my children.
How do I teach my children what the Scriptures say, and how to show love to people, no matter the different cultures and beliefs. .
True evangelism.
Missing my dad, how I wish I could pick at his brain right now.
Feeling for the first time, really, that I'm "fatherless". Something I've always been able to overcome in the past.
Missing old friends that I so wish I could talk to about all this.

All these things and more... have been wandering in the desert of my brain. Some of them, through reading and studying are coming clear. But there are some that I'm still chewing endlessly on. As if, I'm not to be chewing on them at all....

I like to think about things until I come to a resolve about it. If a new thought comes into my mind, I go into this hyper-drive, where I think and think, I go into my "moral warehouse", I study and read, and think some more. I don't stop until I've come to some kind of conclusion as to what I believe about that given subject.

All this to say.. I've been on this quest, this study. I've been swimming in books, including studying the Bible and what other theologians have to say about it. I've been in this deep thought process, that makes my "dark horse" side very visible, as soon as you bring these subjects up.

A part of me enjoys being in such a study mode. It brings my focus off this earthly form, into the spiritual realm, but that's where it gets tricky. Opening up these doors, always gives God the chance to truly speak to me and we become closer, but at the same time, it gives satan a chance to tempt me further into a spiral of worthlessness.

Let me bring you some of my thought process... these are, of course, only highlights... I could probably write many books on my explanations of how I got to these conclusions.. of course, there is a Book already written :)

My self worth. I quickly believe that I am worthless, and I don't know why I've become so gullible, but I know I need to stop thinking these things and hold to verses that I can cling to. I am of true value to Him, my Beloved. I need to remember our engagement, our communion. God has given me certain gifts that enable me to worship Him and show love to others. Those gifts are my retreats. I need to remember this as well.

Church. Fellow believers coming together to study together, pray together, play together, practice together, sing together, work together, support and encourage each other, hold each other accountable. These to me are the essentials. You can't take one out.
There is a modern mode, that seems to be creeping through America, that is taking away the play or being legalistic about it's practice, or legalistic about it's singing. Where there's little accountability, little support, if any at all. Where there's concern for numbers, instead of concern for the individual. Where pastors and leader are being used as crutches for parents and it's allowed. Where the exhaustion of ministry is about advertisement and events and programs, and not about staying up through the night with a family that just lost a their child, or about coming together to feed the family that is working so hard, but can't make ends meet, or sitting with the elderly that have been abandoned by their family, or sitting in that parking lot trying to convince a precious teenager that she is worth so much more and that she shouldn't commit suicide. This modern mode is expecting people to come to them, and it's not going out to the people that need the hope of Jesus and after showing them Jesus, inviting them to come and fellowship.

I could go on and on. Trust me.

I'm in the middle of reading this book called The Chosen. It's about 2 different kinds of Jewish families. I like reading articles and literature from the Jewish perspective cause they always seem to pick up on something that I didn't think about. I take them with a grain of salt because I am, after all, a Christian, but the culture and their practice is so fascinating to me. There is some stuff that isn't in our Bibles that they practice, that I'm careful to find, but when you look at the stuff that is in our same Bible, I'm convicted of my own practice. How we raise and teach our children. How we guard ourselves, our marriages, our friendships. I want to study the Bible like they study their Torah. I want to teach my children diligently, talk of the Scriptures, like they teach their children and talk of it and debate it out. Just because I am not a Jew, doesn't mean that we shouldn't learn from them. Any Christian should realize that our Christianity has strong Jewish backgrounds, whether you're a Jew or not. Their culture holds a certain key to deeper understanding what Jesus was talking about when he'd say certain things to the Jews, the very Words that we study for our own lives. For example: Communion. Some don't know this, but when Jews, (in that time, and possibly still practiced today, but I'm not sure) would agree to be married, basically a proposal, they'd take a cup of wine, and both would drink from it, sealing their engagement. They would be considered a husband and wife, except for the "physical aspect"(that doesn't happen until the end when the feast takes place). It was a seal of a commitment, a seal of a covenant. When Jesus spoke about our relationship, he would always use a bridegroom and a bride as an example. We are the bride. When He sat down with His disciples, He broke bread, for His earthly body was to be sacrificed and then dipped that sacrifice into the shared cup of wine to resemble the covenant between Him and them. He explained this covenant is for all who believe. He wanted us to do this, and to do it often, to remember that we are, through His sacrifice and by our agreement of drinking from such a cup, His betrothed. We are His bride, His beloved.

" I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine." Song of Solomon 6:3a

No bride is worthless.

So Much to Say...

First of all, these anniversaries that we have just passed have put me in a whirlwind. I quickly chalk it up to being in my first trimester (which I'm just reaching out of) while dealing with all these emotions, but for some reason, it's hit me a little more about Dad's death anniversary.

Although September is my favorite month, hands down. It comes with all these bittersweets.

Sept. 2nd, my Dad has been gone for 11 years!! I can't believe it's been that long. I missed him more lately. It could be my hormones talking, but this pregnancy has brought fear and excitement to me with the VBAC decision. AND Tesh has been doing so well, and Sarah is still missed, and my babies are growing up and one can't help but see their family grow and know that Dad isn't here to experience it with us. I know... he can probably see us now.. but it's just not the same. He isn't here to hug me and hold me in his arms and bring reason to me. :) He isn't here to show my kids all there is to know about "THE GARAGE" especially during "A STORM"  I want my kids to know their Grandpa Joe and they only know him through my stories. It just makes me sad... I miss him.

Then there's my beautiful angel named Sarah. She would've been 5 on Sept. 7th.
5! I can't believe she'd be that old already. The baby that all I can see as a baby would've been 5... I would've started Kindergarten with her, and I would've brushed through her long blonde curls, looked in her bright blue eyes, telling her, as well as Evey, that they are such beautiful princesses.
Isaiah had been having these "sad moments" this year about Sarah. Asking more questions and fearing certain things. It seems the older he gets, the more aware he is about losing his little sister. It doesn't effect Eve as much, of course, but Isaiah.... I think a part of him remembers. 





And then there is Eve. My little "princess" that reminds me everyday that she is my princess. She will be 4 on Sept. 22nd. She is growing into this beautiful little lady.

And Tesh is doing so well. Her head is looking great, and she is smart! AND funny! She's a riot, always trying to make us laugh. And I've been so proud of her social bug coming out, after she lost it with the surgery, she's opening up to a few more people.... other than Mom and Dad. :)

This pregnancy has been going great! No more scares so far and I've been so encouraged by many women that I can accomplish this VBAC. I'm not saying it's 100%, cause there's always that chance, but I feel empowered, knowing that God has designed my body to take care of my baby and deliver this baby. I'm not nearly as scared as I was when I blogged last, thanks to the all the "ICAN" support. I'm doing things to encourage a healthy natural pregnancy and delivery, and am excited about it now. Of course, it helps that I'm not nearly as sick as I was before either. The sickness is lifting! and I can really enjoy my growing belly, which that's one of my favorite parts about being pregnant. :)

So there's my bittersweet month as I know it. Enjoy the pics of my kiddos and Sarah's 5th Birthday Celebration this year.

Watching the balloons go up!








Eating cupcakes :)






Grandma Lyn and Isaiah having a sad moment together.

Couldn't help but take a picture of these three sitting together on the bench.






Our goofy Tesh!







No one would ever know anything was ever wrong with her when she was a baby. She's been doing soooo well.

And Homeschooling continues on.....

Eve is doing some pre-school work,

while Isaiah works on his 1st grade writing.

Daddy's teaching science. He was explaining how, "We are like baking soda, and God's love is like the vinegar. When we have Jesus in our hearts and we show God's love, like our experiment, God's love grows for all the world to see."

They thought it was pretty cool :)