36 Weeks, Prep For Home Birth, and Ignoring Numbers...

Notice the lovely wall art, the kids made for their little sister coming. You can see the name we've chosen. :)

This week has been difficult. I've been almost consistently waking up with headaches, which is slowing down my process for preparing for this homebirth.

I am thanking God, my King, for the fact that I've made it this far! I'm 36 weeks! Next week, it will be "GREEN LIGHT GO!" for labor at any given time.

Technically, I could go into labor now... however... that puts me in the hospital (too early for a safe homebirth) and possibly having a premature infant. (which terrifies me to no end)

So... needless to say.. I'm am trying to confidently walk with peace that I will make it to next week, at least, if not hoping for a miracle that I make it even further. :)

Meanwhile.... I have been slowly preparing for setting up for my home birth. My husband, (God bless that man!) has been running a muck for me, making sure I'm not doing too much to upset my body into labor, by doing most of the hard work of prep.

growing snack bag.. honey sticks, dark chocolate, fig newtons, so far!

The prep work is liberating in a way. I feel like a real parent, putting on my thinking cap, making sure I have supplies to take care of myself and my new baby... as well as making sure everyone else in the household is being taken care of. My midwife gave me "my list" of supplies to get for the homebirth, so we have collected it all and fit it nicely into our "Birth Bin". Then I put together a container with some initial postpartum items. We moved some furniture around to prepare a place for my "birthing trough". I'm collecting snacks and such for during labor. Collecting my newborn clothes and moving them in... one more time! (thank you cousin, for letting me borrow them back!) And then. of course... the never ending chore of keeping the house clean because... Kailan doesn't want to labor in a messy house. :)

Birth Bin! All sorts of supplies fitting into the bin. Chux pads, all pads, swim suit, clothes for me and baby for after birth, flash light, garbage bags, container for the unmentionable placenta... (oh.. I guess I said it, just then, didn't I?) the list goes on! I'm still working on the towels.  

Postpartum box. I'm not going to forget the IBProfen this time.. had to have my sister run and get it last minute last time. You live and you learn! 

My Birthing Pool space. Supplies for pool in bin shown. (it all came nicely together with the rental) Notice my lit garland hanging to set a nice calm mood for labor. I'm looking forward to that. The fish tank will be soothing as well, sitting right there. :) Isaiah and Eve are soo excited to be a part of this again. Tesh has told me she does not want the baby at all. And Naomi has started saying "baby" when she sees my bare belly. 

There is still things to get done, like putting plastic on the mattresses... (just in case), putting my scriptures up on the walls for my gaze to catch during labor, putting together the gift/goodie bags for the kids for waiting nicely during labor, and I need to wash a few more towels to collect at least 10 (as the midwife requested for water labor/birth). :) We plan on setting the pool up this weekend so it'll be ready for whenever I'll need it. (I will never ever ever labor without water ever again!)

Pregnant Status Update: I'm 36 weeks. I'm dilated to 2 and about 70% effaced. Midwife is guessing baby to be around 6 lbs now. She doesn't think I'll make it to my due date, but she remains optimistic about me making it, at least to next week.

I still have bouts of crazy contractions that make me worry and question whether or not I'll make it to term, but then I'll rest and go to sleep and wake in the morning, still pregnant, thanking God, and hoping I can stay calm. I keep trying to talk myself off an anxiety ledge of going into labor sooner than I want to. For as much as I've been tortured with this pregnancy, the whole time, I'm still not ready to labor and possibly deliver an infant that's going to have issues because of the earliness. My nerves of labor and delivery, in and of itself, are nerve-racking enough to me, then add the history with our baby drama... I just want this pregnancy to last as long as it can. I want to be able to get to a point where my prayer changes from "Please Lord, let me stay pregnant." to "Please Lord, get this baby out of me!".

Thank you for any prayers sent our way.