Looking Forward Behind Me

I know.. that title almost doesn't make sense. Just go with it.

I'm actually looking forward to this new year. Fresh starts always motivate one to look out with their eyes wide open and really think about what they want to do.

I've been compiling a list... not so much a "bucket list" (as I have been corrected) and not so much a "Punch list" (because I don't think I can take the "definiteness" .. oh my goodness, that's a word!). "Hit List" isn't quite what I want. "Honey Do List" won't work because I'll be the one fulfilling the list.

Anywho, but what's a list worth without commitment... so I've lovingly titled it my "Squash List". A list that you are committed to accomplishing within a certain amount of time. (mine being for 2014)

Why the name? I don't know.. it's best not to ask questions. You know, squash is a vegetable that is very good for you. Very versatile.

 I encourage you to make a Squash List. Figure out your short term goals. What's something you dreamed of trying and just haven't done yet? What's something practical you can do to your house, your yard, your time, for your children, for your spouse? for yourself? ... the list could go on.

I got this in the mail, with my name on it, the other day. I thought it was funny because:
1. I've never ever smoked one cigarette in my whole life
2. I had already been equivelating my cussing habit to smoking cigarettes. In my anger and depression, I have let my mouth slide. It was such a quick forming habit, like cigarettes and now it's hard to break. My son may or may not have said a few choice words, where as my husband was able to give me the evil eye in accusation... to which his accusation was true. ((sigh))... It's on my Squash List.

Looking back at my year in 2013 I find it interesting to observe that this time last year, I was not pregnant, nor did I want to be or plan to be.... and now I have a beautiful little infant daughter in my arms.

This time last year, we were going through financial issues... now... we are there again... it's on my Squash List.

This time last year, I was very depressed, still dealing with my anger over the previous year... Now? I'm healing. I'm doing better, and I plan to continue healing and using my experience for good.

Good things happened this last year too, (along with having our 6th baby) like our 10 year Anniversary, we got to spend some awesome time together, and everyone survived my pregnancy!

I'm looking forward to creating my Squash List, looking back at where I was, and looking forward to where I want to be, things I want to try or accomplish.

Fresh starts are like fresh air. Take a deep breath.

Squash.