I Let Her Go

This morning has gone so smooth so far. Your prayers are all working. I woke up, alert and ready to take on the day, and...... I ate breakfast, which was a lot more than I thought I'd be able to do.

We got here at the University of Iowa Hospital at 6am. We waited for 10 min. before they took us back to a pre-op room. As Tesh grew very hungry, she became pretty cranky, wanting to be in her mommy's arms. I held her for a while as the nurses and anesthesiologists came in and out asking their usual questions, giving her the "once overs"

I wiped her body down with these special cloths they provided, put her in her gown, and watched as they marked her head as "the surgical site" The nurse called it, their "autograph". :)

Tesh became very worn and slowly fell asleep in my arms. Something I wasn't expecting.

 She slept in my arms until "they" came in to take her away from me. They told us to give our kisses and hugs and that they were ready to take her back. Sleeping Tesh was gracefully handed over and stayed asleep even in the anesth.'s arms. I don't even know how many times I kissed her. I slowly started to come to a realization of what I just did as I stood in front of the her, watching her sleep so peacefully in another's arms... the tears started coming down. I kissed her until she was out the door. Josh quickly embraced me as I cried even harder when the door shut behind her. He prayed for her, for us, for the doctors, everything.

I'm sitting here right now... little nervous, but overall calm. I found the peace I was looking for. I sought and I found. And it came just at the right time. Thank you my Lord, my King, my Peacemaker. :) Because of His love and your love through Him, I have found the courage and peace to take this day and be the mother I need to be. Thank you.