It's getting a little harder to breathe. I've been crying on and off, with thoughts in my head of my last moments with Sarah. Then I look at my Teshura, watching her, holding her, kissing her, wondering... are these going to be my last moments? I've had to work very hard on finding a peace about all this. I still haven't found it completely yet. I know that God has got all of this in His hands. I know that He loves Tesh. I know that He loves me..... and that Love is going to have to cast out my fear. (1 John 4:16-18)
I feel sick(from nerves) and need prayer for peace still. I'm not 100% we are going to pass "pre-op" due to a diaper rash that she has from all the antibiotics that she's been on and I'm not sure what her blood work will turn out to be like with all the past infections. I'm sad to leave my other babies behind, but I know they'll be in good hands with family.
I'm trying to believe with all my heart that she will be fine, like almost every baby that has had this surgery. The odds of anything serious happening to her are very slim.
My heart is breaking and may continue to until we are on the other side of all this. Where everything can only get better from there on out.... I can't wait to feel that.
You can do this Kailan. Remember to "Be still and KNOW I am GOD." Not "think" or "believe" but to "KNOW" it. Your peace lies in that. We are praying for your family,
ReplyDeleteJolene from CR.